Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Turning Page.

Glimpses of His heart =beautiful. And mind blowing. And challenging. And scary as hell. Like, seriously-sometimes He freaks me out so much I want to run in the opposite direction! 
Then I remember His goodness, His faithfulness, all He has done and all He has promised. And then I know I will be safe. Not the kind of safe that implies comfort or simplicity or ease. Life. is. messy. Jesus got down and dirty in the mixed up muddles of humanity. And thus, I am called to as well. The term "Christian" means "little Christ", though sometimes we forget. So yeah. Jesus did=I do.

This safety is a different kind. It means covered; protected; secure; loved. It means He knows what He is doing. It means the outcome doesn't rely on me. His kind of safety is "I AM big enough for this." "I AM faithful." "I AM the Love you can't even dream of being to these broken people." He protects. He leads. He provides.

I am leaving the kind of comfort and security that I have known. My life right now is not exactly stable. But it is secure-because my life isn't where I live or what I'm doing with my time, or even where I am spending it. My life is staked on the LORD of the Bible, the One who leads His people to oceans and leads them through on dry ground, surrounded by walls of water on every side; the One who tells old men and women that they're gonna be the parents of a nation whose citizens outnumber the stars; the One who tells a man to take a prostitute for a wife to tell a people of His love; the One who circumnavigates nature to bring His Son to Earth to redeem a people who have not loved Him; and defies the grave, bringing LIFE where death had ruled unrelenting.


He calls Himself "I AM." And I'm taking that as a promise. Because, ironically timed enough, my life changes tomorrow. A new chapter begins. I'm praying it's less of a season and more like a lifestyle. A lifestyle defined by the fact that HE IS. So there is no need for guilt or condemnation, fear or judgement, worrying or stress. Heck yes, they're gonna happen, because I do not remember the truth of all He is in each moment as clearly as I am tonight. But He is big enough for that too. There are gonna be tears, I am sure. There will be times I wonder what He and I were thinking, where I long for what was, where I am terrified of what He is asking of me. Because I cannot do it; it will require Him. It will take His strength, His grace, His love, His heart. And as scary as that sounds, there's so much freedom to be found in it-in being so lost and out of our league that He shines so brightly, cause it would take a God to do what is being done. That life doesn't rely on me after all. 

He says, "To hold on to your life is to lose it; give up your life, and you'll find it in Me." "Trust Me, I will not fail you." "Follow Me."


It's gonna be an adventure. Life: unscripted, unpolished, uncomfortable. Learning to rely on His strength, His grace for this world, and His heart toward each of us.

{If you're utterly confused, I promise I'll explain very soon why I haven't written in more than a month (good reason, I promise!) i.e.-what's been going on. Fun story. Kindof. I love you all, I'll see you around!}