Where do you call home?

It's funny...for me, it is here. In this city I am just beginning to discover. In my heart, it is already mine. 
I love it. It has so many issues, so many things that need to be reconciled...but it is mine.
I want to be a part of the reconciliation, of bringing justice and equality.
Inequality criss-crosses the city like chasms created by earthquakes. In the light of the richest of the rich, often the poor go unseen.
 
Open my eyes.


 Hopelessness hangs like smog over the parts of town no one wants to remember.


Teach me how to carry Your name there.


The haves and the have-nots. The satisfied and the hungry. The queen size beds and the park benches-or corners of the sidewalk. The forever grasping, who spend their days chasing their latest fix, longing to fill the emptiness that lurks in the recesses of their silent nights- and the forever unsatisfied who are just as empty, only you can see it. We are all here. Together in this city.

Why are we not out there? Why am I not out there?


Because I am afraid. I am afraid. I am afraid of having to face the kind of pain that ravages this city while we turn a blind eye, comfortable in our ignor-ance. If we wanted to, we would see. The haunted eyes. The bone-weary souls. The hunger that is never filled. But I am afraid. I am afraid breaking the status quo too much. I am afraid of how it will hurt. I would rather protect my heart. I keep being reminded recently that it is easy to give of our words (what do they mean without actions, anyway?), our money (because there's more where that came from), our stuff (because we have so much it doesn't matter) our "good intentions" (which are truly nothing at all)- but it is hard to give of ourselves. We only have one heart. And with that heart, we are to live our lives. And so if what we call compassion doesn't hurt-I'm realizing that it's empty. 

I am afraid. And I don't want to be. I wish I was brave, I wish I was strong...but I am not. I am not.  

I am not enough for this. I never will be. I am clueless as to help, what to do, how to deal with the brokenness that surrounds me.

Because the truth is it takes a God to mend broken hearts. It takes a God to love recklessly, give endlessly. It takes a God to reconcile the irreconcilable. 

His name is Yahweh. I am not Him. 


But He is in me. He is with me. And I'm praying that day by day, He will teach me how to lay myself down on His altar and die, so He can be what I am not. So He can change this city through the hands that are here-my hands.

The Value of Music?

It's Tuesday night (errr, early Wednesday morning) and I'm studying for my astronomy final exam in less than 9 hours, listening to Spotify (which I just started using less than 3 days ago, basically) , checkin' Facebook- you know how it goes, college friends. In all of this, I discovered this little article posted by a friend of mine, about the value of music in our culture. I found it quite intriguing. The question is, as a culture: how much do we value art today?
I should go study, but I have a feeling I will be getting back to this. It's certainly sparked some curiosity in my mind.
So-what are your thoughts? How do you feel about art? Is each piece unique and valuable to you personally, or part of the scenery that surrounds us, like wallpaper-pretty but just there? Do you think about often what goes into the making of the art you enjoy? What about the relationship as a consumer/customer with the artist? What should that look like?


I look forward to your thoughts, friends! Until later....surviving 'til noon is the goal.


(And by the way....I might be done with Spotify. Or re-purposing it. Still thinking.)

"Three Things I Know to Be True"

Three Things I Know to Be True | Jeff Goins


I love this. It reminds me that life is hard and it hurts, but it is worth it. Take a look.

Fragrant.

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among  those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak Christ.

                                                               2 Corinthians 2: 14-17

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

                                                                Ephesians 5:1-2

I have loved you from the start.

Husband-wife duo. Beautiful.
From Dad's heart to ours. He relentlessly pursues.
{Oh love that will not let me go.}


"Hear my song for you-I will not hold my tongue. 
Open your heart, open your heart-for I have loved you from the start."

...and how can I stand here with You, and not be moved by You?

I saw this years ago...and it left me speechless. I can't explain what it is about it. All I know is every time I watch it, I still get teary eyed.
Plus, there aren't words for how I feel about this song.

Even today, I got distracted from Him. My focus turned to my past, and my heart began to ache. Suddenly , I realized I was looking at other things more than Him. Things that never last, never satisfy. {Oh little heart, when will you learn?} I needed to be reminded. I found this song that's helped stir my heart in its coldest season.


There were still tears in my eyes. I love Him. He is beyond faithful. And He is enough. Even when we don't believe it. He is Restorer, Sustainer, Redeemer, Faithful, Loving, Almighty, Beautiful, Worthy. He is hope, love, justice, peace, and joy all in one. He is God. He is Life. He is Good, the only good. He is Faithful. He is Everything.